You’ve probably heard it before: “It’s okay—you’ve got a great team behind you.” But according to new research from the University of Maryland, that supportive workplace might not always help you bounce back after a mistake. In fact, it could make things worse.
Published in Personnel Psychology, the study explores what happens when employees lose status or respect at work—say, after a failed client pitch, a blown presentation, or being passed over for a promotion. These moments sting, but as it turns out, being in a “nice,” supportive team doesn’t always cushion the blow.
The Surprising Downside of Support
“When we set out to study this question, we thought support would be helpful,” says Jennifer Carson Marr, Associate Professor of Management and Organization at UMD’s Robert H. Smith School of Business. “But it actually turns out to be worse.”
Marr and her co-authors, psychology professor Edward Lemay and Hyunsun Park of Georgia Tech, found that when someone in a close-knit, supportive group suffers a professional setback, they often feel conflicted about their coworkers—simultaneously supported and disrespected.
This emotional tug-of-war breeds ambivalence, which Marr describes as “worse than outright hostility.” Instead of feeling motivated to re-engage, employees tend to withdraw, ruminating over mixed feelings and perceived judgment from peers.
Why Ambivalence Hurts More Than Criticism
Ambivalence in relationships, Marr says, creates uncertainty and anxiety that can quietly erode engagement. Even well-intentioned teams can inadvertently make a struggling member feel more alienated—especially if the person senses that colleagues’ respect has slipped.
And it doesn’t seem to matter whether the support offered is emotional (“You’ll get through this”) or practical (“Let me help with the next pitch”). Once ambivalence sets in, employees tend to avoid leaning on their team altogether.
What Managers Can Do Instead
Managers shouldn’t assume that high-performing, tight-knit teams are immune to the fallout of failure. Marr suggests taking a proactive and personal approach:
“When someone experiences a failure, don’t just assume they’ll bounce back. Reach out, offer help, and help them make sense of what happened.”
Her advice: Watch for withdrawal, hesitation to collaborate, or sudden dips in engagement—even among your star performers. Those reactions might signal that the employee feels uncertain about their standing within the group.
How to Recover From a Status Loss
Marr’s team found that status loss is surprisingly common—even for top performers—and that recovery depends on how people reinterpret the event. Here’s how employees can rebuild confidence and credibility after a setback:
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Recognize setbacks aren’t permanent. See them as temporary dips, not defining failures. That mindset helps re-ignite motivation.
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Remember status fluctuates. Respect can be re-earned through effort, reliability, and team contributions.
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Be the support you wish you had. If a teammate falters, take initiative to reach out. They may be too conflicted to ask.
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Share your feelings. Discussing the experience with someone you trust—inside or outside your team—can help dissolve the ambivalence.
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Seek perspective beyond your group. Colleagues in other departments or industry peers can provide objective reassurance and validation.
Marr emphasizes that support from outside the immediate work group—for example, mentors, professional networks, or cross-departmental peers—can actually be more effective, helping employees regain perspective and confidence without triggering the same emotional conflict.
Bigger Implications for the Workplace
The findings highlight an emerging challenge for HR leaders and people managers: how to balance psychological safety with performance accountability.
As organizations prioritize empathy, inclusion, and well-being, the research is a timely reminder that support isn’t one-size-fits-all. Sometimes, what employees need most after a misstep isn’t sympathy—it’s space, perspective, and a clear path to redemption.
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